In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Green-Eyed Lady.”
I’m not jealous romantically… I love my hubby more than I can express and I trust him and I think when a woman flirts with him or says something about his looks or body it’s just an affirmation of my taste in men. It makes me feel good when other women think he’s sexy and good-looking. It’s one thing for another woman to flirt with him when they don’t know he’s married but when they find out and keep it up or act on it… we have an issue. I’m not worried about hubby doing anything with her; and if he leaves me for someone else: I’ll be hurt, mad and a whole lot of other things but it’s ridiculous to flip out and make an ass out of yourself over someone who has moved on.
If he cheats… he’s moved on. That’s my opinion. And if he’s moved on, it’s time for me to do so as well. Will I grieve? You bet! And I’ll be an emotional mess but I’ll pick up the pieces and rebuild… it’s all you can do. Keep on chugging on; to fly into pieces and not get it back together gives someone else control over you. I won’t allow someone to wreck me to that point.
So now that I’ve said where I’m not jealous how about I tell you where I do?
I get jealous when my friends post vacation pics, and night out on the town hanging out having fun. I am a people person, I need social interaction. I don’t like sitting around at home all the time (although I do crave alone time too) I like going for drives and walks and I like going to a diner for lunch. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just some time away from a TV and getting some conversation. Just to sit and talk and joke… get a piece of pie or mozzerella sticks.
I get jealous when: other authors go to conventions and talk about all the great stuff they learned; who they talked to, the success stories, the opportunities it afforded them. I wanna go! I wanna learn great stuff and meet editors and my favorite authors. I wanna get discovered and make connections!
I get jealous of their success and their ability to focus on writing as a career. Of course I’m happy for my author friends but I believe you can be jealous and happy for someone else too. Jealousy isn’t always a negative thing, it can drive us to try harder to get what we want… it can turn us into better people. Need an example of this? Okay: If you see someone else who is popular and everyone loves them and likes them, and you want to have friends and be liked.. you start doing nice things for others and getting more friends. You become a better person even if it’s for selfish reasons… you change and eventually you’re a better person because it’s who you’ve become and not only to win friends and influence people.
I get jealous when it’s my turn to visit with someone and someone else intrudes. For example: If I haven’t seen my mom in a long time and we’re talking and one of her friends from the neighborhood comes up and starts talking to her for an excessively long time I get upset. It’s like: “Look you! I’m visiting from Georgia! You have her every damn day. Say your piece and move on… Sure it’s nice to meet you… but go away. Come back tomorrow for a bit.”
Or like when my aunt came to visit. She talks to her fiance’ all the time… they live together… when she’s visiting me… he doesn’t need to call her and keep her on the phone forever. I want your attention…. and I’m jealous when others take it. You can talk to them anytime you want! I have limited access…
I get jealous when I’ve worked hard on something, and someone else get recognized for their work but I don’t.
I get jealous when my friends meet for the first time and click so well they seem to be better friends with each other than with me.
I get jealous when I learn someone is having a hard time from another friend. EXample: I talk to Susie every day online or on the phone in someway… and I ask “How are you doing?” She says: “oh I’m fine… been busy with the kids or work” (blah blah… ) we chat… and then LATER I’m talking to a mutual friend Mary and Mary says: “Oh man, I feel so bad for Susie… you know she had to put her cat to sleep… or she has been so sick and her mother broke her hip. She’s so stressed out right now” OR “Susie’s been so depressed lately…”
This is news to me! Why didn’t Susie say something? I’d help her if I could… Why did she open up and tell Mary and not me? Am I a fair weather friend? Or am I not a friend at all? Maybe she doesn’t like me enough to confide in me! So I get jealous. I don’t just want to be there as comic relief (although that is my usual role) I want to be there for my friends even if they’re going through a hard time.
I’m laying it out there pretty thick. I am jealous over lots of things and I might be petty… but at least I’m honest. That’s got to count for something! Right? Look we’ve already established that I’m a jealous A-hole so:
Gimme my points before I take someone else’s!