internal monologue of what I imagine my character’s first time is like (sex)

Body: We’re going to do this thing!
Brain: What sex!!? Nooooo we’re not! We’re not ready for that. There is prep work that needs to be done first. Body what are you doing?! No; you stop that!  It’s dangerous, there’s pregnancy, and disease and wait body.. what’s  goin- whoa!
Body: but feel that… that’s niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice….
Brain:  oh! oh yeah I’m feelin- oh! … you’re flooding me with endorphins… Hey! body, you stop that right now! it’s SEX! RUN! SCARY STUFF!! 
Body: but.. but… it’s soooo goood… let’s wait a little longer… see where this is going and then we can run.
Brain: it’s good now.. but it’ll get scary.. and then you’ll wish- oh my! I’m- well now!
Body: I know right? And we’re just getting started!
Brain: okay… we’ll see how this go-ohs! eeek! RUN!!…
Body: ooh okay  legs went weak.. can’t run… we’re DOOOOMED…
Brain: Dammit body! Get it together!! so we agree… when legs work again.. we run….
Body: ow! that hurt…This sucks we shoulda ran.. Wait….a minute.. not sucking.
Brain: wait… what’s? OH! oh! oooooooh *snkglsy!
Body: WHOAAAAAAaaaaaooooooh yeah! *twitch; shudder; spasm*
Brain:%$@#!gkl *snert* %*@^#  and ^)*$
Body:  Ahhh soo glad we did this!! Told ya this would work out.. Brain? brain? what’s happened to brain? uh oh! Brain short circuited! What do we do?! What do we do?!
Brain: *sigh* wait for the reboot… then run!

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