A little help please?

Hello to my Social Media type persons,

I need some authory type opinions… Anyone interested in helping me out? You don’t have to be an author, just have an opinion. 😀

Does this make sense?

Turi needed to buy some time and enough space between him and the shotgun so that he could grab Shiloh without getting his guts splattered across the floor in the process. He also needed to get a message to Vernon, it was time for a knock call. Knocks were a useful way of sending information to an unfamiliar mind with telepathy. It both identified you and conveyed a small amount of information without intruding.

And… would you say it’s an information dump? Like intrusively so? Any other suggestions on this bit of text?

Thank you all soo much!
~Kaw

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Published by: Kawanee Hamilton

Kawanee was born in Alexandria Louisiana but her first real memories are of Russellville Arkansas. She's always loved to read, and has always had an vivid imagination. She grew up in a house where almost everyone read, they didn't need a TV although she could still be found planted on her butt in front of her grandma's TV watching cartoons on Saturday mornings. She made up her first story with her mother when her cat died; it was about where pets go when they die. She continued to create stories from bad dreams she had and her dad would help her change nightmares to stories. They would sit up in a chair until the scary went away. He told her that: "Dreams, good or bad, are just stories your mind makes up. You are the author of your dreams; if you don't like them rewrite them. " She was hooked and has continued to read and write stories drawing from dreams, sights and just pure imagination. She just recently decided she'd like to try and get published and fail than wonder what if. Her story continues but where it goes from here is up to you, the Reader... She hopes you'll join her in finding out where her journey goes from here!

Categories authors7 Comments

7 thoughts on “A little help please?”

  1. crap.. I accidentally deleted that comment. 😦 I thought I was typing a response but apparently not. And I didn’t know T meant trash to wordpress. 😦 I’m sorry. Thank you for responding.

    Like

  2. “…it was time for a knock call.” After that it starts sounding like a user manual. My suggestion would be to find a way to keep one of the characters in the explanation. Then again, it depends – is this going to stand alone on social media or is it part of something else I’m already invested in reading?

    Liked by 1 person

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