Things that happen at my house

An update on my husband: My inlaws

This was written at different times over the past 2 weeks. So it might be a little disjointed as it is a bit of random rants, thoughts, and feelings.

Well, it’s apparently been a week since my husband passed. It is largely a blur of fog with moments that stuck with me. I honestly barely remember what we did last Friday, the only thing I remember is waking up and talking to my husband’s boss and friend and then a steady stream of calls. Lots of crying… and people telling me to be sure to eat and get sleep.  I remember eating a half a sandwich and a few chips on Friday at 1 am; it was the first thing I’d eaten since 9 pm Thursday.

I cannot sleep in my bedroom. My son doesn’t understand why; he said: “You’ve been sleeping in there for the past 4 weeks…” Yes, but that was different. I thought he was coming back, it’s different now. A little colder, lonelier, awful… maybe even a little scarier. (I dunno why that last part.)


Saturday, (6-17) my sister in law and her daughter and grandkids came in. I hadn’t seen them since… um… 1998 or so. That was tearful, and yet it was the first day only a few tears were shed. It was also the day I was supposed to pick up my husband from the airport. There were a lot of hugs exchanged and some very good advice given. I love my in-laws, always have and always will. I’ve been so lucky with them. Wasn’t hungry, wasn’t thinking of food and was a bad hostess. 😦 We eventually went to get pizza for everyone, they made me eat…

I showed my brother in law my blister. I know, I know it’s silly, but if hubby was home, I would look at hubby and be all proud of myself and silly with him. He’d usually acknowledge my small badge of honor (nothing in comparison to his badges), fuss a little then tease me about being a wuss. “You gonna make it? Should I call a Wah-mbulance?” That sort of thing.

My brother in law (not knowing this, or maybe he did… anyway.), he said the greatest thing and most perfect response ever. It’s been a little bit since he said it with brain fog being involved I forget the exact wording but in lieu of my hubby saying it, his response was perfect. Seemed to do the trick. 🙂

My sister in law is hubby’s older sister and she can commiserate with me on the hardheaded nature of the men in the family. She knows he was as infuriating as he was sweet and we can poke fun at him. She gets it.

They only stayed a few hours and I wasn’t ready for them to leave. The kids were adorable, excited bundles of energy, of life. My male in-laws were great for my son to be around, especially now when he needs male companionship.

My father-in-law and mother-in-law (I have 2 and they are both great) have been fantastic. They keep me level headed and thinking rationally while I’m losing my mind. They are full of practical advice, helping me get a church for a memorial and being very supportive. I know they are hurting right now too, but they are being strong and calm with me. Keeping me sane in this insanity that is my life right now.

My Mother-in-law, (David’s mom) gets mad with me, frustrated with me and she’s a fiery one so it’s pretty nice to have someone to rant with. She’s helping me with some emotional decisions because as hubby’s mother, I can defer to her wishes on some things that I’m struggling with. Making things easier for me.

On another note…. if you’re thinking of traveling overseas, don’t die over there. Your loved ones will be put through hell. They are already hurting from your death, dealing with consulates and embassies and red tape and strangers who could care less what they are going through.

I will post another rant about the red tape in another post.

16 thoughts on “An update on my husband: My inlaws”

  1. I agree with the other comments, Kawanee. I’m so glad you have your relatives to help you. They were so right to make sure you eat as it will give you the strength you need. I’m sure we all hope for the best for you in this difficult time. I can only try to imagine how difficult it must be when a loved one dies overseas. I live overseas (India) and hope if anything happens to my husband the relatives help because I made arrangements for my dad’s funeral in the U.S. , but it’s different here. Take care. ❤ — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

  2. There is nothing I can say right now except that I am glad your have a support system around you. I will however keep you and your families in my daily prayers to help you make it through this terrible time.
    When ever you want to post we are all here with a shoulder and an ear, and a hug.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I couldn’t bring myself to ‘like’. I am so very sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine your pain but I came very close to losing my own husband twice these past few months, The earth stood still. And my father died years ago while on vacation in the US. I know what that red tape was like to get him home. Wishing you peace and healing. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh wow. I’m sorry to hear that. Yes, the red tape and all the steps of the process are ridiculous and painful.

      He’s still over there now. Waiting to be cremated. It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 3 weeks. Some of it is a fog, I can’t get used to the idea of him being gone.

      Doesn’t seem real.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. How terribly awful Kawanee. I can’t begin to imagine your world right now. I just wish you light and strength to get through this most difficult time.<3

        Liked by 1 person

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