I’m not doing well….

The day hubby came home, I posted the “unacceptable, horrible post”. They sent me home fragmented bones. Not ash, I cannot spread bones. When I complained and asked for an explanation the employee at the Chinese company handling things sent me a picture of my husband.

On the day he was cremated….
in a yellow body bag…
after 30 days.

I was in no mental condition to deal with that, there was no warning that it was in the email. I opened it up and there it was. I’m now plagued by nightmares. I’ve dreamt his box got knocked over and that his skull fell out of the bag, I’ve dreamt of him the way he was in that picture. I’ve woken up crying and shaking. I’m an emotional mess, I get angry and cry a lot. I sleep a lot. I am looking into getting some grief counseling and legal advice.



Published by: Kawanee Hamilton

Kawanee was born in Alexandria Louisiana but her first real memories are of Russellville Arkansas. She's always loved to read, and has always had an vivid imagination. She grew up in a house where almost everyone read, they didn't need a TV although she could still be found planted on her butt in front of her grandma's TV watching cartoons on Saturday mornings. She made up her first story with her mother when her cat died; it was about where pets go when they die. She continued to create stories from bad dreams she had and her dad would help her change nightmares to stories. They would sit up in a chair until the scary went away. He told her that: "Dreams, good or bad, are just stories your mind makes up. You are the author of your dreams; if you don't like them rewrite them. " She was hooked and has continued to read and write stories drawing from dreams, sights and just pure imagination. She just recently decided she'd like to try and get published and fail than wonder what if. Her story continues but where it goes from here is up to you, the Reader... She hopes you'll join her in finding out where her journey goes from here!

Categories authors, Things that happen at my house10 Comments

10 thoughts on “I’m not doing well….”

  1. I’m sorry I missed your last post. Primitive tech obviously.
    What they send is only bone, in whatever condition, everything else rises to the sky.
    This is good, this is ancient.
    Honor his bones.
    You have nothing to fear from your husband.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a horrible, traumatic experience, Kawanee. Grief counseling is a good idea (I say this as a grief counselor in my previous career). It won’t remove the hard feelings of loss, but it can help you process them, provide you with support, and build your resilience. Mourning is a process and the trauma that you endured can prolong it. It’s important to take care of yourself. My best to you. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. omg Kawnee, that`s dreadful what inconsiderate idiots. oh sweetheart, wish I could make things better for you right now, it`s good you are going to grief counselling and also seeking legal advice because what happened to you, should never happen to anyone.

    Liked by 1 person

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