The past 2 days:

Things are getting better on the phones at work, my handle times are going to be high, like forever. I’m resigned to that now, I’m going to be the weight.. dragging the team down, I’m slow but getting great scores for customer service.. so yay for that. So no sorely needed bonuses in my future.. which seriously sucks!

Also, I’m having a harder and harder time finding the wherewithall to drag my butt out of bed in the morning. By morning I mean…. just before noon. I have to be at work by noon, yesterday I was still in bed, hiding basically in the blankets at 11:15. It was an effort to just get out of bed, but I got dressed and made it to work on time.

I drank coffee for like the 7th time in my life… Blech! but it was needed to keep me upright. Rent is paid, the rest of the bills have to wait until I get paid again, going to call the water department tomorrow.. I have a cut off notice for service I’ve barely even had a month. How does that even happen? I’m sure it’s a mistake, it BETTER be a mistake! But not a whole lot of choice on where I get my water from so, I’ve got no choice but to pay it.

UGH… I’m soooo tired, I think I’m depressed. Now that things have quieted down (some)… all I want to do is sleep. I’m not even hungry most of the time, like everything is just shutting down. Too much effort. Maybe it’s the season change or all of it together but I seriously need to find a natural upper or energy source before I go into hibernation.




11 thoughts on “The past 2 days:”

  1. I used to work in a huge call center. I reported to work and clocked in at 11 am. I also used to work overtime to earn extra money. My problem was having my meals at odd times. I ate lunch at 3 pm and dinner at 9 pm. I also snacked and sat all the time so gained a lot of weight. Since I didn’t go home until 8 pm, there was no time for exercise. I did manage to get my talk time down. They put customer service 2nd behind talk time which I didn’t think was right but my job was on the line. I talked a mile a minute. As long as customer service at your work comes first you don’t need to worry. I’d check to see if there’s help for the financially burdened below a certain income bracket where you live. I was never proud. If I’d have needed food stamps or other help, I would have asked. You also sound like a sensible person so you’ve probably already checked. You definitely sound depressed which is natural in your circumstances, but “get help” if it continues. You’re probably covered by your workplace medical plan. Don’t let depression drag you down. Your general health will begin to suffer. I speak from experience. My mother lived with us for seven years and had Alzheimer’s. Hang on and keep fighting the problems for your sake and your son’s. I’ll keep praying for both of you. ❤ — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. my dinners are screwy too, I am gaining weight and I’m not happy about it. Working on getting up earlier to do some exercise. I am thinking I’ll eat a good lunch and maybe when I get home at 9 pm.. eat a salad or something.

      Thank you for prayers, unlike calories, you can never have too much of prayer. 😉

      And somewhere in this mess, I need to start rewriting again.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Good to hear that you’re getting good scores for customer service. Well done! I think you’re right about being depressed now that everything’s quietened down. That’s understandable. You’re exhausted by it all and that’s not surprising. You just have to take one day at a time and every now and then you’ll have a good day. As time goes on the good days will get more frequent and the bad ones less so. I guess the weather doesn’t help either. I always want to hibernate when the weather turns cold. I wish you all the best and will continue praying for you and your son. Take care.

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  3. Kawanee, Suzanne has given you excellent advice. One other thing, Life Ins.? Did your husband have vacation time due to him or a savings plan at work? There is help out there, please look into it.
    The other thing I would like to mention, I worked for and retired from AT&T. I was in customer service for quite a few years, your time will improve as the days pass, but your health both physical and psychological is key to your healing, please seek help. Talk to your family and friends perhaps they can give you a hand. You and your son remain in my daily prayers. Keep us posted, we are here. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Kawanee, you are doing a great job all round in the most trying circumstances and yes, all the symptoms you describe are typical of depression. There are some dietary things you can do to help if you want to avoid going straight to medication, but do explore that route if things don’t settle down. There is a herbal remedy called St John’s Wort, it comes in the form of drops, which German doctors prescribe more than Prozac for mild to moderate depression. I have used it in the past and it has helped. Also, making sure you have plenty of foods which contain magnesium and B vitamins is essential to good mental health. Many people are deficient in magnesium, it is the mineral which keeps us calm, it controls muscles and prevents them from cramping, and many other things. I have a blog post on how it works and what foods contain it. (2 handfuls of cashews for instance have the equivalent effect to a single dose of Prozac). B Vitamins are essential for a healthy nervous system and can be found in wholegrain foods, nuts and seeds. Omega oils are also essential for good mental health. Making sure you have a healthy diet will go a long way to improving your mental state. I appreciate you are short of funds right now, but if you have a choice, choose the healthier option. As always, I wish you good luck and hope things improve for you very soon. You will only get better at your job, anything new takes practice, including getting used to your new status. Go easier on yourself, you are doing your best and fetting there slowly but surely. 💜

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I blame the change in the seasons. The light is different and makes me sluggish plus depressed because of the no light situation. They have sad lamps which can be helpful or the one that I`ve heard really works is a Tibetian Salt lamp. You can buy them on e-bay or amazon. I’m going to try one so will let you know how it goes. x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. very cool.. 🙂 never heard of either of those things. I know I get sleepy in the winter, surprisingly while in Florida I didn’t have that.. strange 😛 I miss my house, I miss my alligators and the oranges and lizards in the backyard. 😦 I miss a lot of stuff… 😥

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I agree with everyone. You do sound depressed. You ought to get help. It’s not really surprising, though, in view of what you’ve been through.

    I think you really should try to get some exercise. Just a brisk walk each day. It’s said that it helps with depression. Apart from anything else, if you start putting on weight, that will add to your depression too.

    So glad your customer service is being praised. That should help to boost your morale.

    I can’t offer any practical advice as I’m not familiar with what is available in the USA, but do try to find out.

    And remember, you’ve a lot of friends out here in the big bad world.

    Liked by 1 person

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