Advice

Reaching out to Healthcare professionals and Drs.

My husband went to Southern China in May. He was there 3 weeks from May 25th to June 16th. He lost like 20-30 lbs while he was there and then died the day he was coming home. they said it was Sudden Cardiac Arrest. He was in excellent shape, no heart problems, or blood pressure problems.

I was in shock and didn’t have money for an autopsy. He always watched his fat, sugar and salt intake, at home he almost a gallon of drank ice tea with lemon a day. I have texts of him complaining about having a hard time finding tea while he was over there. We joked about someone finally having done something worthy of all the tea in China.

Can you help me understand this? He was only 47 I have pictures of him on the day he arrived and 3 days before he died maybe that would help? Is there something I can look for in the pictures that might support my theory?

The picture on the left is upon arrival, the one on the right is 3 days before he passed. Please help me understand. If you’re not a doctor or health care professional, please share maybe someone else can help me understand.

Thank you so much!
Kaw

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15 thoughts on “Reaching out to Healthcare professionals and Drs.”

  1. I’m not a healthcare professional, but I just wonder whether iced tea contains caffeine? If it does and he was drinking’ almost a gallon’ (as you say) of iced tea per day, then perhaps his death had something to do with either a caffeine-induced heart attack or perhaps caffeine withdrawal if he couldn’t find any tea where he was? All I know is that my husband felt absolutely terrible for 6 weeks with flu-like symptoms and the mother of all headaches when he gave up caffeinated drinks. Just a theory…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes we don’t have answers x and lots of guess work just confuses us more. There is no doctor who could diagnose from a photo this much I am sure of. I am full of empathy and wish there was a way but this wishing and hoping for the answers can only bring you more pain. It is time for you to understand there was nothing you could have done and nothing left to do to change the outcome. My cousin is a professor of heart surgery and she told me “any man in the street could guess dehydration but even I would not know without an autopsy”. So try to allow yourself to celebrate the time you did have and laugh at the moments you had that were fun. Take care.

    Liked by 4 people

  3. The 2 photos are shocking since they were taken in such a short time apart. Something is evidently wrong. However, I agree with Ellen Best that it’s very unlikely anyone can diagnose from photos. I understand you wanting to find out exactly what happened, but I think it’s most unlikely now. It’s hard, I know, but you should try to let it go and remember your son. Celebrate the time you had together, and remember part of him is still alive in your son.
    I can’t say anything from personal experience, but only second hand from my mother. My father died when I was 3 years old. One day she went to the graveyard and knelt beside his grave. She said she wanted to dig him up with her bare hands. The local rector came to her and said, ‘Go home, Mrs Hughes, He’s not here. If he’s anywhere he’s at home with you and your little girl.’
    She went home and didn’t visit the grave again, as far as I know. She then lived for me, but never forgetting him, of course.
    She still loved him to the day she died even though she remarried and had another little girl. She said she felt she hsd a part of him in me.
    I tell you this to try to help you, not to get over it. You probably never will, entirely, but to show you that you can come to terms with such a devastating loss. My little sister also lost her husband in a farming accident in 2000 when he was just 49. She, too has come to terms with it, running the business with her eldest son, rather than selling the farm. She’s doing it for him.
    Remember, if your husband is anywhere, he’s at home with you and your son.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know, you’ve told me that about your mom before. My heart breaks for her. I know he’s not in China… god I hope not! He wasn’t happy there. Anyway, I know what I believe and was raised believing, its more a matter of how it happened and why…

      Something happened, that’s clear, but what.. is the part that bothers me. That and the utter lack of respect and consideration from his company.

      That company is/or will be making millions from his work. They should’ve had insurance on him, life insurance at the least, they should’ve paid the workman’s comp claim.

      I have many reasons for what I’m doing. It’s about survival, respect, and closure.

      I’ll get there, but not yet. One day….

      Like

  4. I feel for you, I really do and I do have experience. I don’t want to go into details but my brother died aged 22 in a horrible accident alone away from home. No-one knows what really happened. It eats you alive for so long, the whys, the what ifs, but eventually you realise it is making you ill, it is affecting your relationships, you are stuck in that moment when you got the news. I even blamed my husband as he was the one who came home from work to tell me and I replayed that moment over and over and how cool he seemed to be and how he blurted it out. But he had travelled a long journey home from work on a bus, and had carried that news with him for a couple of hours before he got home. Every time I read your posts about your husband I relive it and I weep for you. You will never have all the answers to all your questions, it is so frustrating, you feel helpless and want to rage at the world, at the incompetence of the authorities, the unfairness of it all. You are still in the raw stages of grief and also having to start a new life with your son. That is the best you can do. You can’t ask anything more of yourself. I send you my best wishes and I hope you find the support you need.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, I’m sorry to affect you that way. This is my outlet for now, if I don’t explode on here from time to time… I break down in public, or at my son, or the microwave. Random times.

      Thank you for sharing. I am so sorry for your loss as well. I can’t imagine. My husband came up on an accident while commuting to Dallas and I felt awful for him just being there. I imagine the person’s family was devastated.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I completely understand your need to let it out, please don’t think I was in any way blaming you for bringing up bad memories, I was just illustrating that I do understand what you are feeling. Christmas is always a difficult time because you’re even more aware of their absence when the rest of you are together, I imagine it was like that for you at Thanksgiving.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Kawanee, I don’t think any doctor will be able to give you a clue as to why or what went wrong. The posts above are good and we all feel for you but unfortunately there is no answer.
    I am going to tell you a true story, maybe you don’t want to read it but I am going to tell you any way.
    I had a cousin he was 23 years old, on this day he had finally passed the state test and received his electricians license. He had to have a physical the week before as part of the requirement. He was in “perfect health” , blood work, stress test, cardiogram, the full works. He was in perfect health. He was also thrilled that he passed the exam. He told his father that evening how happy he was and that his life was finally in order. He was going to ask his girlfriend to marry him. He was just so happy. He went to sleep that night knowing that tomorrow would be the first day on the job as a licensed electrician. He never woke up in the morning. His parents were devastated as was the entire family. Two autopsy’s were done. Cause of death? Natural causes. Heart attack. It almost destroyed his parents and his sister and understandably so. They went through what you are probably experiencing now. They wanted answers and there were none. That was over twenty years ago and although they have moved forward as their daughter became a nurse, married and has two girls of her own. Sal will never be forgotten but, they all have reached the point of remembering all the good times and love shared. Thank goodness.
    I am sure you and your son are going through a terrible time right now and it will probably take a long time to move forward and I pray that as you and your son lean on each other that you both know your husband is there with his arms around both of you. Bless you both and I continue to pray for you daily. It is not much but it is the best I can do. I have no words to make it easier. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s awful! You’re right I didn’t want to hear that…. but thank you for sharing. I don’t understand sudden natural cause deaths in someone so young.

      They said Sudden Cardiac Arrest with my husband.. that is an electrical issue not blockage and heart attack. That’s why I’m looking at dehydration.

      Like

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