Sorry I haven’t been around..

The first 2 weeks or so of the month, I worked over 100 hours. I found out later that working all that overtime was only enough to cover my rent in one paycheck and left me $15 for the next 2 weeks. That sucks…

Around the 13th, my childhood friend lost her mother. I’ve always been in other states when she needed me, this is the first time I was here. I wanted to be there for her, I hope I succeeded, I hope my desire to be there for her didn’t become an intrusion. She’s my best friend since kindergarten or earlier. My adopted sister. She dropped everything and drove me back to Florida to get my other car, we had a blast. She got me my job, she’s been amazing. She’s an amazing supervisor (not mine, unfortunately), she said just the right thing to get me back on track when I was at work and having a meltdown. She’s got soooo much going on in her own life, and yet she takes time to give to others.

I wish I could give her everything she truly deserves, the happiness she deserves.

The cat continues to be a pill…. not at all calming and therapeutic as I’d hoped.

My sister surprised me with a visit, it was great to see her. Mom and her contrived to keep it from me and my reaction isn’t G-rated. It was however… hilarious in retrospect. Too bad I can’t post the video here, or maybe not too bad because I look fat. 😛  I’ve gained 16 lbs… not happy.. I thought I should be losing weight. I blame all the comfort foods, and the general staying at home all the time aside from work.

On a positive note, my handle times are coming down… and we got raises. I’ll get my first check with the raise on it Feb 19th just in time for rent week. (again). I’ve been keeping everything paid and us fed on my own. For the first time in my life, I’m living on my own. I went from living with mom and dad to married. I’ve always had a partner, and I don’t think I’m doing horribly. Things may be tight, we may not get to go out and do much for fun, but we’re doing okay. (mostly)

This Valentine’s day will be sad, and then it’s my birthday. I can’t believe that in 4 months it will be a year since hubby died. I don’t understand why it’s gone by so fast, must be the mental fog and just glazing over every day. Living in disbelief, expecting him home… the fight with the life insurance policies, and his former job.

I’m not mad at my old boss, he’s been great. It’s the level of disrespect for my husband that pisses me off. It’s the casual using up of someone’s life, the robbery of the last days of their lives, it’s keeping him there longer. It’s them continuing to make money off his designs while leaving me without so much as a sympathy card, flowers, a memorial at his work. It’s like he didn’t matter… when I’m a peon at a call center and have life insurance and they had nothing on him. Then to fight the workman’s comp claim that THEY FILED… I didn’t… I just don’t get it.

One day I’ll write a book about this whole experience, and I’ll name names. All I can say is: Karma is a Bitch.

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Published by: Kawanee Hamilton

Kawanee was born in Alexandria Louisiana but her first real memories are of Russellville Arkansas. She's always loved to read, and has always had an vivid imagination. She grew up in a house where almost everyone read, they didn't need a TV although she could still be found planted on her butt in front of her grandma's TV watching cartoons on Saturday mornings. She made up her first story with her mother when her cat died; it was about where pets go when they die. She continued to create stories from bad dreams she had and her dad would help her change nightmares to stories. They would sit up in a chair until the scary went away. He told her that: "Dreams, good or bad, are just stories your mind makes up. You are the author of your dreams; if you don't like them rewrite them. " She was hooked and has continued to read and write stories drawing from dreams, sights and just pure imagination. She just recently decided she'd like to try and get published and fail than wonder what if. Her story continues but where it goes from here is up to you, the Reader... She hopes you'll join her in finding out where her journey goes from here!

Categories authors8 Comments

8 thoughts on “Sorry I haven’t been around..”

  1. Great to hear from you. Hope your son is doing better. I am glad to hear your mom and sister visited. I hope you are able to get all the legal things sorted out soon. It seems like it’s taking too long, especially the life insurance companies. Seems odd to me, something is not right.
    Write that book and let us know when because that’s one book I want to read, especially if you are going to name names. You will have a best seller on your hands.
    How is your leg doing? I hope it is healed by now. I also hope you post again soon. Keeping you in my daily prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. So good to hear from you again, Kawanee. And to hear you sounding much more positive. I agree with Salpa58. You must write that book. Apart from being of interest to we who follow you, it will be cathartic for you, too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It was really nice seeing you again, and your reaction was PRICELESS. I had originally planned on trying to get out there right at your birthday so you wouldn’t have to be alone for that mess, but it just didn’t work out.

    Love you, and hope I see you again soon. (Don’t forget to read ‘When Love Dies’! 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Huge hugs to you, you are amazing doing what you do. All I can do is wish that things will get easier for you, e.g. the financial burden will pick up and you and your son will be able to live more than hand to mouth. I know how that feels I’ve had to struggle with that. And I love the line Karma is a Bitch. You will write that book and name and shame. xx

    Liked by 1 person

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