The first 2 weeks or so of the month, I worked over 100 hours. I found out later that working all that overtime was only enough to cover my rent in one paycheck and left me $15 for the next 2 weeks. That sucks…
Around the 13th, my childhood friend lost her mother. I’ve always been in other states when she needed me, this is the first time I was here. I wanted to be there for her, I hope I succeeded, I hope my desire to be there for her didn’t become an intrusion. She’s my best friend since kindergarten or earlier. My adopted sister. She dropped everything and drove me back to Florida to get my other car, we had a blast. She got me my job, she’s been amazing. She’s an amazing supervisor (not mine, unfortunately), she said just the right thing to get me back on track when I was at work and having a meltdown. She’s got soooo much going on in her own life, and yet she takes time to give to others.
I wish I could give her everything she truly deserves, the happiness she deserves.
The cat continues to be a pill…. not at all calming and therapeutic as I’d hoped.
My sister surprised me with a visit, it was great to see her. Mom and her contrived to keep it from me and my reaction isn’t G-rated. It was however… hilarious in retrospect. Too bad I can’t post the video here, or maybe not too bad because I look fat. 😛 I’ve gained 16 lbs… not happy.. I thought I should be losing weight. I blame all the comfort foods, and the general staying at home all the time aside from work.
On a positive note, my handle times are coming down… and we got raises. I’ll get my first check with the raise on it Feb 19th just in time for rent week. (again). I’ve been keeping everything paid and us fed on my own. For the first time in my life, I’m living on my own. I went from living with mom and dad to married. I’ve always had a partner, and I don’t think I’m doing horribly. Things may be tight, we may not get to go out and do much for fun, but we’re doing okay. (mostly)
This Valentine’s day will be sad, and then it’s my birthday. I can’t believe that in 4 months it will be a year since hubby died. I don’t understand why it’s gone by so fast, must be the mental fog and just glazing over every day. Living in disbelief, expecting him home… the fight with the life insurance policies, and his former job.
I’m not mad at my old boss, he’s been great. It’s the level of disrespect for my husband that pisses me off. It’s the casual using up of someone’s life, the robbery of the last days of their lives, it’s keeping him there longer. It’s them continuing to make money off his designs while leaving me without so much as a sympathy card, flowers, a memorial at his work. It’s like he didn’t matter… when I’m a peon at a call center and have life insurance and they had nothing on him. Then to fight the workman’s comp claim that THEY FILED… I didn’t… I just don’t get it.
One day I’ll write a book about this whole experience, and I’ll name names. All I can say is: Karma is a Bitch.