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Hmm… so, a new stage of grief maybe?

The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are a part of the framework that makes up our learning to live with the one we lost. They are tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief.

Hmm, good to know. I was wondering about this. I know I had denial… that’s the first thing. Nope, this isn’t true, it’s a mistake… he’s still alive.

I’ve had depression… and anxiety.  Numbness…

Welcome to Anger..

I didn’t realize exactly how angry I am until today. I mean… I knew I was angry but I’ve mostly kept it under wraps, I’ve felt it there…. or maybe I knew it was there… but I never allowed myself to really feel it. Voice it… act on it.

I’m seriously pissed off…. deep down. Trouble is, I don’t know what to do with it yet. I’ll figure it out eventually, but it was hard hearing that edge to my voice and that deep burning anger.

This is a problem…. my inner bitch has been stirred.  I’ve kept her tranquilized up until recently or maybe the numbness and sadness have lifted a bit and now?

I’m furious… about it all. Not that hot ear, flush up the back of your neck angry, but that cold, furious, steely-eyed calculated destruction type of angry.

That’s bad….

 

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4 thoughts on “Hmm… so, a new stage of grief maybe?”

  1. It will pass, Kawanee. Believe me. One day you’ll wake up and the anger is gone. It won’t be easy to that moment, I’m telling you. But one day you’ll be able to remember the most amazing memories without the tears and the rage. Until then: let me know if you need me. I’ll be here for you. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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