Hey Presser Friends, this goes out to moms who are both mom and dad, and dads that are moms and dads too.
So I’ve been talking to some of my friends who are moms and struggling right now. They are various ages, ranging from 30-75 and at different stages of motherhood. The latter end of it.
We’ve survived the sleepness nights of new momhood, we survived the toddlers, the tweens, and the teens. And just when we think we are out of the woods and our children now have children of their own and can finally understand us
our kids point out everything we did wrong. They tell us all about the times they felt like we were too hard on them, criticized them unfairly, yelled at them when we didn’t understand what was truly going on. They tell us that we were bad mothers and that hurts.
We want to do the best for our kids, but we are human, we make mistakes.
If you are a parent and reading this, you’ve made a mistake somewhere. I promise and that’s okay. They happen… Parenthood doesn’t come with an instruction manual, and even if it did, one size definitely does NOT fit all. Don’t beat yourself up over it but if you’ve made a mistake (or even if you didn’t but the kid feels like you did) you can certainly tell them that you’re sorry that you made them feel that way. I’m pretty certain you didn’t mean to hurt them or their feelings or treat them unfairly.
Unless you rival “Mommy Dearest” type of psycho-ness… in which case: You’re a horrible person and deserve nothing for mother’s day. You should beat yourself up all the time, every day.
If you are a child/adult child and/or maybe even a parent and you’re reading this, you’ve made mistakes somewhere I promise and that’s okay. That’s what parents are for and they don’t have manuals to follow. Even if we did, some of ya’ll aren’t right! Kids make manuals useless. Some of ya’ll brought snakes into the house, cut your sister’s hair with buzz clippers, tromped mud all over the house, stole from her, and drove her crazy.
Don’t beat yourself up over it, but it wouldn’t hurt to cut mom/dad some slack either. Tell them about your feelings but before you do consider this: If you feel like they weren’t fair to you, think about all the times you weren’t fair to them. How many times you left a mess for them to clean up, how many times they put their own wants and desires on the back burner for yours. How many times they had to write a report or run to the store and spend all night making cookies or picking up something at the last minute.
Maybe you’re feeling like your mom wasn’t the best… that she wasn’t fair to you or was too hard on you or whatever. You have the right to feel that way, it’s your feelings and they are valid but you can certainly tell them that you love them and maybe you’re sorry for some of the things you did too. She didn’t likely mean to hurt your feelings or make you feel some sort of way.
Don’t beat her up for it, she won’t be around nearly long enough unless your mom really was psycho… then carry on… because those moms are real.
Let’s be honest here… every single one of us (as kids) had a parent make a mistake and got treated unfairly. We probably all said the same thing: When I grow up, I’m never doing that to my kid.
Ahh sweetpea, you will…. you’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to be unfair, you’re going to be hard on them. She’s human… and you are too. One day when you’re way older, there’s a chance that your kid will tell you about all your mistakes….
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone…