authors, Grief and coping with losing hubby

It’s a new day…

Sorry if I worried anyone, I didn’t mean to. I just think it’s important to document things, these emotional issues, depression… anxiety while in the middle of it. Plus I get to lance an emotional boil and let some anger out in a “healthy way”. Reading it today I find it interesting… I guess I’m analyzing it (part of the writer brain I guess) as if this was a character in a book. What is making me tick, what is driving some of this, I didn’t expect the anger at the employer to be in it because it was all about missing hubby… I expected to be sad… not for it to run the way it did.


I will devote a chapter to this in my book when I write it. No one ever told me anything like this could happen… I don’t know how to deal with it. Mom didn’t have this when dad died… I know everyone is different. I’ve never had any of these things before, it’s new territory for me and I’m gaining a new respect for those that have it and are dealing with it every day and all their lives.

I can not fathom how they deal with life. How they function in society like this.

After getting some sleep, a few good cries and talking to my sister and my son I am feeling better. Now, if I could just get rid of this headache it would be great.

I will call my old grief counselor and ask her about some support groups and start going to them. Maybe go see her, if the insurance covers it… and I’ll call my doctor and see what we can do to kind of deal with this rough patch.

I know I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD, I don’t know what that means or what to expect except that I’m sure it’s different for everyone. For me, it’s important legally to document the effects, the attacks, the way it’s impacted my life. I know people lose someone everyday, it’s part of life, but it didn’t have to be handled the way it was. It was a difficult time made more difficult by China and his employer and by the fact that he should have come home the week before.

I’m okay today. For a palate cleanser, check out the other posts I’ll be posting. šŸ˜›


5 thoughts on “It’s a new day…”

  1. I looked up PTSD on Google. I’ve heard of it before. It’s defined as Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. In other words, I’m guessing that’s what happens when you have serious stress after a trauma like you suffered. I seem to remember some soldiers suffer from it. I’d think insurance would pay for the treatment. My daughter went to a counselor as my husband was bipolar and that’s bound to have an effect on children. I think my son toughed it out by talking about it. We took him to a counselor but the man said he couldn’t treat him because of our son asked him questions and the guy got frustrated. He said, “I can’t treat him”. My son is very intelligent and reasons things out for himself then wants to discuss them. When he went to college he majored in both psychology and philosophy. I wouldn’t recommend that though. I’ve had to tough it out myself here in India as the mental treatment doesn’t seem the best here. I prayed and had people praying for me. ā¤ — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My sis toughed out losing our dad. I talked about it to everyone and anyone who would listen. I didn’t handle it well, but hubby was there to help. Bless his heart, I made him pay for dad’s death… punished him by proxy I guess.

      I still have trouble remembering the rest of that year. I was there and saw him die, but I got through it.

      Don’t have Hubby now, and mom has alzhiemer episodes and doesn’t know how to help or what I’m going on about sometimes. No help there…. my son is still struggling too but he seems to be doing better than me.

      I’ll get there. This was just a shock and came out of nowhere.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Bless your heart, Kawanee. I appreciate your prayers. I understand what you were going through as my dad died suddenly the day we brought him home from the hospital and my mother was showing signs of Alzheimer’s. I had to buy the cemetery lot as my dad hadn’t. I had to arrange the funeral as my husband was a foreigner and had no experience and my mother was fairly helpless. I had two children who were only 4 and 2 so had to keep going. I got severe bursitis right after the funeral but couldn’t take the valium they gave me until the middle of the night because of the children. I know how tough it is. If one day you have to put your mother in a good nursing home be sure to visit often. We found a bruise on Mom and told the administrator. It never happened again. It sounds like you’ll be okay and you’re handling your problems well. Just take one day at a time. That advice is in the Bible. It’s all anyone can be expected to handle. As I said, I’ll keep praying for you. ā¤ — Suzanne

    Liked by 1 person

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