Sorry, I haven’t been posting much, I’m still pulling my pieces together trying to find some glue. My old boss and family friend said he was authorized to offer me a job with the new company, I showed up and began filling out paperwork. The job looks interesting and it’s ground floor for something that has huge growth potential. During the discussion of the job, he asked is I felt like I was trapped here and that I was only taking the job because I needed the money.

Well YEAH! Kinda. I mean, I’ve been almost 8 weeks without a paycheck and thanks to some relatives and donations. I’ve managed to keep the lights on and the rent paid. That won’t continue forever and it appears as if the company isn’t coming through on workman’s comp. (or anything else) So I’m pretty hosed at the moment. I’ve got nothing here, no friends and no family.

We moved here for the job. I love it here, I love this house. It’s just not sustainable and the pay they offered wasn’t enough to stay here. My son is working on his education and right now as we cope with the loss of husband and father, his grades are slipping. He’s getting behind.

So, my old boss/family friend offered to help me get moved back to family for the emotional support. I’ll need it coming up on the holidays and my son’s birthday and hubby’s birthday. I’m packing up the house…  It’s not an ideal situation. I’m both looking forward to getting settled somewhere and feeling secure and safe. I’m looking forward to seeing friends and family but I’m also dreading a long-term return. As a teenager, I couldn’t wait to leave. There was nothing to do, and now that I’ve lived where there are museums, zoos, comedy clubs, dance troupes to join and etc I don’t see me being happy in a small southern town with none of those things. I mean I knew GIRLS who chewed tobacco… BLECH.

So I’m trying to look at this as an opportunity to get back on my feet, find work and still pursue my writing career. I’m trying to get my son to see it that way as well… (it’s not going well) I’m trying to get him to see this as an opportunity to finish getting his education, pursue his dreams of being a game developer, and make a name for himself.

It will mean big changes for us, but I’m sure we’ll meet this challenge. I may not make the money he did, but I WILL carve out a good life for me and my son. We’ll struggle to adjust, I may fall… but I won’t stay down.

I will carry on,
I will make hubby proud.

I just need to find a house I can afford to rent for now. Buy some time to get back on my feet.

I will try to get back into posting helpful information, writing memes, excerpts, and whatnot. Meanwhile, between packing, I am hunting Pokemon and coloring in my adult color books. It appears as if I’m regressing to childish things…. but it is keeping me sane, letting me discover new stuff about the town I’m living in (even if I’m leaving ASAP).


22 thoughts on “update:”

  1. Life throws us some pretty rough pitches at times. I think about you and your son often and pray for you daily. Each person handles grief differently, take your time and follow your heart. You seem to be a strong woman and your son is going to rely on you. Grief is hard enough and on top of that you have many tough decisions to make. There is a light at the end of that tunnel. All I can do right now is send a virtual hug ((((((((())))))))) I hope it helps.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Cautiously optimistic is good. You will find a home for you and your son.
        Did you think about calling a relator and explain briefly your situation and she/he possibly could line up a few places for you to look at, if you know what day you will arrive. Tell her/him what your price point is and what you kneed and if you know the area you want tell her/him that too,
        Where are you going Kawanee? I have a sister-in-law that is top notch in the business, and she knows plenty of relators across the states. She is President of their Association. I am sure she would help you if you would like. Let me know if that would help. :o)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. You sound a little better, Kawanee. Grief is a rollercoaster, so don’t be surprised by the ups and downs as you make decisions and get settled. The security of a move closer to family sounds like a safe decision and you can always move again when life takes you in that direction. Your son’s grades slipping is to be expected. I hope his school is responding with compassion. You will grieve differently from each other and that’s okay. My heart goes out to you both. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you, his school has been mostly considerate.. he was really really doing well. The academic coach said after 6 weeks… he’s only a few days behind right now. So he was busting his butt before this happened.

      I told him he didn’t have to help me pack if he was working on schoolwork… sooooo I think he’s in there working on it now.

      He BETTER be….. or I have a foot that will be having a serious meeting with his behind.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Only a few days behind is nothing. Hopefully they are giving him extra time without penalty. As you know, focus is really hard at a time like this. The fact that he has goals for the future will help. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Moving closer to family at this point is a good decision. You are being very brave and I admire your strength. Your hubby is very proud of you I´m sure. Hugs to you and your son as you build a new life. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you, some days I’m stronger than others.. today is a good day. I’m feeling cautiously optimistic… almost hopeful but not yet there.

      Keep the positive thoughts and prayers and such coming. We still need them. 🙂 *hugs*

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so sorry that you have to leave your house that you love and the town. I am sure that you will get your life and your sons back on track and I agree with Debby new doors will open soon. xxx


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